a third rate, fourth place, tenuous at best, unabridged yet oft-truncated collection of calumny & travails from the last manfish standing, husophonic orator & chronic fumbler, his nipples (minus 3), Crank Sturgeon
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
a greened naught brow
1. Two finger pinch, as if one were a crab
2. Made each & all, a kind of handsome drab
3. Muttering filth and distrust, with a gesticulating stab
4. A tune befitting some jive land grab
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Crass Sting Crawl
My name is Dustin Warren, Im a casting associate for the show America's Got Talent on NBC. Ive recently been recruiting for our upcoming season and happened to stumble across some amazing footage from some of your performances. Awesome stuff, I love it!! Definitely some of the most unique performance art Ive come across all year. Your style, your stage presence, and your production is everything that the producers are looking for right now. And especially due to the addition of Howard Stern on our celebrity judge panel, the program is going to be pushing a lot more in to the fringe this season. I don't know if anyone has every approached you about this or not, but we would love to have you on our show if available. We begin shooting at the end of February and are closing our casting very soon. If this is something you think you might be interested in give me a call or email me and we can discuss it more at length. Hope to speak with you soon!
Best,
Dustin W. Warren
Casting Associate
America's Got Talent, Season 7
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
T. H. A. N. K. Y. O. U.
funded funded funded funded funded funded funded funded funded funded funded
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
__ ick __ ock
Plus L
(____) (keep waiting)
...
hike 3/4 mile in snow, arrested by another methane emission; recording facetious
...
Too much carpal
...
Plus C
Minus S
(sleep concert/caffeine bravado)
...
Hot Hands!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
sublet apart meant
Arid zone seen
Arid Not seen
Arid zone Hot
Hot scene Air
Hairy moan Zine
Naught sine Stone
Air Not seen Knot
Arid moan Zone
Naught sine moan
Air stone Air
Knot zine Rare
Rare bone zone Bone
Hot scene Sine
Hairy moan Not
Naught sine Oh you're being so
Air stone Strobed
Knot zine just face it
Rare bone stone, yeah man...
Knot zine seen steve
Rare bone zone okay, now...
Hot scene Not seen
Arid zone A, B, C, D, passing
Hot Not moan (get the F)
Naught sine coauthored by fun
Air stoned a wall, tall, smooth, pink
Knot zine, banned by yr gummint
Rare bone seen
Arid zone, heat poisoning
Hot scene, thirsty
Hairy moan moan moan, bitch bitch
Naught sine wave to the po' lice
Air stone (gimme dat KY, buster)
Knot zine moan; improper semi
Naught sine (sh, sh, sh)
Air stone piled pyre
Knot zine pure
Rare bone
Rare bone scene
Hairy moan and ethnic detergent
Naught sine Not seen
Arid zone, fucking hell...
Hot scene
Hairy moan well, you would too
Naught sine for rages
Air stone lead dirigible
Knot zine and banners reading?
Rare bone!
Air stone, zipper that skin, oh man
Knot zine gonna ban you for stinking
Rare bone inner net up with your
Hairy moan stuck, oh sheets
Naught sine... to the wind!
Air stone, nice
Knot zine, try and be nicer
Rare bone, beats the scene
Hot scene would if it could
Hairy moan moan moan, itch twice
Naught sine: a trove of shelling
Air stone, inspired by rivals
Knot zine to publish biweekly
Rare boner (it gets old, I tell you)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Go to the Hi
Go to the ornery, tell 'em HI.
Go raga, go. Bust it hard wired & let her know I sent you...
Go forward too, sweet banana-grin. A grand visit eastern calls-calls-calls.
Go in the interim, but do not bite your bulletin (dammit if I didn't already).
Go... well? to the bathroom; politics as usual.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Gene Splice (performance score)
1. Draw portraits of the audience
2. Mince, shred, blend the drawings
3. Make cappuccino with the shredded bits
4. Pour contents in an envelope and mail to a racist
ei-tch
H
H.
H&
H (lu)
H [[[
H'ye
Hugh
H ---- 0
H asks too many
H for an H
Hi(x)Hi (exponential frisk four times)
Not submitted
1. Not submitted
2. No subs nor mittens
3. Tree T's to the risk
4. Maaaaaaan cud s/he h/ake it
5. Similarly, eyes to the wise
6. Send a day pending P's
7. An awful awe dull
8. Coup glowing
9. Record thy core, corrections elect
10. Kill the pen knee