neu biers yves

1. Celebrate the coming new year with 200 (+/-) woodcut prints possessing the number of the year with an accompanying dripping phallus
2. Yell, "Happy 1915!!"
3. Decide at the last minute to disown all mythologies and previous altercations; update facebook status to solidify this seachange
4. Have a threeway along the way which gives birth to a 31 year old man (not bad for the alpha proto new millenial!)
5. Get the case thrown out of court on the basis that misogyny works only for 50% of the population
6. All tongues fully ensconced in cheek (yours or your neighbor's) reel the ol' bitch in. Eyes -- still to this day -- used for tooth support

Error tart

1. Share


2. And share alike


(eyes used for tooth support)

Oblivious

Obvious



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Obvious

Oblivious



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Eczema Yves

It's not like it was a well-slept. Bumbling moon cat, meat-in-the-colon emissions & notchwork of nocturn's dutch ovens; flashing lights and karate kisses in the whirl and tar slicks of side by each/wide sendings, alkaline and rubber fleet, carpeting the room to room with heralds of paz and boastings, beastings, reflexive and abdominal, abominable dreams... feral number one, feral number two, feral number three; chasms bridged by damnable authors-- foulers and fondlers, the lot-- catching the imprint so poetically, imbuing tiny caresses, threesomes, running and hiding and finger swiping secreting; edible eyebrows, steady undone that stoic, now alit in dirt soundings, measured in the rope of itself uncoiled cloister and coitus exemplified in testy pyres, shower colds, able hottings, esteem in a salmon son-- all red and bulbous bleu, veiny for search mechanisms, and having found: still laughing many, many hours later. Unreachable by sea, land, air, or the interweave, the you-topics and personal topples founded in merry stones and shy shivers, all these did a pull. Four, five, six, and eleven: it could go and go and keep on betraying the morning. Sun's bidding. Nothing more at stake. Chance to dream again? She and she shined more... chaos truth, plied for hours, thanked, shat, washed, and still riotous.


(eyes used for tooth support)

lest his behest

A wee tome for the December heights and wiles...

Remonde mi lotor

Ads vice.

Location spin high for port; culping the chaste ms. lecture sexate fondly donder gwowing thær unhusual projuct shun spek.

1. Goodtithes 2. Proactive facial supplish 3. I am gwad

Ada spize.

Ailing jells and shell shirt; pie pie pie pie ( the w o n d e r f u l ) mr. chas. Tecksty globo eyepiles and scanning the wold Fortean dry out wrenchhhhhhhhhing drain.

4. Lifes nad 5. Shellicopter 6. Handy man dan mon royal

Rad piels.

Man o' man; longest test of the canvas wally flingerly jemp to warre thrice doldery and rohm sie guile les 'stru jiejkjies dunt.

7. Hatefuckhate 8. Tam lin sip requal 9. Last danck bfo dan

Ladel tps.

Baiseballs twits and the ead negligloog (urlish gore toddy shem); munnied mechanmsnics ee schnow chop-chop dam-dam gup-gup and GoD oRninG.

10. Lame the falliban 11. Lodz dal mung tanny 12. dhiPc aaaaaaT

Hrwuq cklp.

Chatwyye ckllpgh; ahhhhh xkilp, wdgggggy, akdhhhu? (msss. MMM) aaaal, prrrrr, ffgbswwee? AaaakkaaaaaaakkaaaaaaaaaaaaaakaaaaaaaakakakakaaaaaakaaaaaaAaaaaaaakaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaa.

13. hh 14. Hh 15. hH 16. HH

(eyes used for tooth support)

two tag re(d)action

1. Fall




2. Winter



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it's a noise show

Discomfort. Standing, waiting, not sure if you're cool with it; who is this guy? Vices, voice layers, couches. Parallel. Fifty something (year old) guitarist friend gets a black eye and boxer punch to the eyebrow during his set. Meanwhile a series of Santa-clad, Santa-songists with electronics ensues. A strange, frustrating house if cards set of my own, yet despite this, the held-breath makes sense and peace with silence. One has to not mind. Teases? Discomfort, perhaps. But manner of exploration seems to indicate still-unknown waters for everyone; no one quite in their skins because the camouflages and geckos keep changing and shedding and adapting to the pixels. Now and then the weirdness is astounding! We're all a bit older than we used to be, but the languages still appear to fire off new sprigs and shoots. Birds of countless feathers: chirping, howling, preening, and making bowers.

(eyes used for tooth support)

Morning fitness

1. Stretch a shadow



2. Stretch smoke



3. Stretch (the obvious)


(eyes say oh to ruth suppository)

Secretinsides

1. Crack
2. Open
3. Find
4. This
5.


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Transitions of wringing handed wrongness

1. So I get this shit texted to me while I'm recording. As it turns out, Montana is lonely again.


2. So then it belies the fact that it needed a little more additive. Tag you're it, buddy.


3. Realizing this was an awful tranny mess, I felt bad for my compatriots in Florida, so cold these days!


4. And feeding the fat lil' songbirds, the sunflower seed bag was advertised as "meaties" brand...


5. Resting the case, it always boils down to a lowest common denominator. Fortunately, one need not have to search too far! We salute you!


(eyes sued for youthly suppleness and ensuing shitstorms)

Nine doings done

1. Shirt delete ail
2. What's happening was realized as wasn't
3. Minor rich
4. Two sheets shorn shy; a sure hurricane shire
5. Maid a day or out of ought
6. Staid put
7. Get your gone growing
8. Likeable heck's width
9. Rate and state



(eyes used for tooth support)

Underscored

Fish revision to/for a noise recording.



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Overscored

Fish revision to a score collaboration with Matt Taggart.



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Fischism

1. See, you blend in better this way. This way they cannot detect you. Your plugs won't leak, your skin is their color, and safely nestled you will be, sheltered by their nineteen fifty three.


2. Mixing well meant certain addresses and trusts would have to change. Combine engines and the usual dramas snaked through in concealing stickers and bumperdumbs: these were to be avoided. Plugging in also had its faultlines. Observe the following:



3. Shaken and unperturbed, the rituals would continue; the huckster hex placed neatly on its appropriate shelf and led to slaughter. One day, you'd remind yourself: one day, you'll shake your fist and see the morning clear, justice having been served, and servile lice rendered unimportant, impotent, and well, submissive under ten layers of loam and peat. In the interim, the following would have to do.



4. A prayer then? Fields having their sown. An uncommon cause would tire out and fall over, circles having unables to stand erect and vertebrae following suit in similar conclusives. The hamburger kings would replace their cheers with curdling affairs of mock suture and retirement pleas; heads of state would line hips end to end along walls and allow heads of lettuce to be lobbed. A safety salvo! Oh yes! And eyes? (Eyes used for tooth support)

Salvo caged

1. Caw
2. Shun



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Fit to be tied

1. Rosin string
2. Tie string around each finger; one tie for each item on your to-do list
3. Amplify the rosined string as you tie, reciting aloud each item from your to-do list
4. To-do list can be anything of your choosing
5. If your list is longer than you have fingers, consider toes or other appendages
6. If your list exceeds appendages, consider objects
7. Periodically muse whether or not to-do items are fit to be tied
(~<•>~)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Latter day ain't

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P H D minus

1. Phonetic argument relay
2. Phone tag or handler baggage
3. Pho noodle dining says you
4. Phony baloney behest milktoad
5. Phosphorus-in-general-enlightmeantwell
6. Phond, phonzie, phorever
7. Phorcedexposuretocoldmetaltongueordeal
8. Photographic Finnish (sweat on the seat)
9. Phobia for rent, no duh
10. Phoenix zones of acrid intent; phork-in-it/phooey


(eyes used for tooth support)

Ember bare asp

There's a bucket of gin for ya if you do ember bare ass art. We read life potency with name lisps and candor: end over door fins, period, excelsior, mantra tantrum-- these are better n' splaying the vestigial shucks that you missed "it". But "B"'s and "Q"'s (mind them), they answer more than a ladle can spoon ye. Most of us don't.
Nah. Not even close.
But if it's viewed as total failure, there's a legion that grows up in you. Doesn't at first have a sensical noon, but shying away from the flames only acts as a blame retardant for later layers to scurry, scour, damper, temper, and nary hair singe nor ameliorate.
So you do then, what?
- tox
- purp
- songue
- hlup
- kay/rush
- jacob
- soart
- blim
And thereafter theraputor, rub the smelly on inner tines and chords; bands like this don't come every day! The told and stranglum figure tore, the f-hole pointed f-arch pinga fuchs, the dangle dangle dangle dangle, the await of summer or a gal named Thea, all and walls don't have a hope IF you're just hip to nope. Appendices in the No-generation have none peeks, non vert, unmile, and general lack. It's done on tweaky fingerdinks, leftover to bile and cry and never know a Dad. S'gotta lift, yeah?
Job one: embarass yourself well, smiling
Job two: Germany in the summer, maybe Mexico
Job three: an amazing network
Job four: draw incredible pictures
Job five: do work that betters the species, dammit

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The merits of a noisy career?

1.
2.
3. Still beats anything else I could've gone to school for.


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Format; for max

Props:





Action:
Conversion angel.


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Associated aim-wells

1. Micron


2. Snippling



3. Hairgasm



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.08% B.A.C.

1. Banker, brokers, politicians, soldiers
2. Busily dicing up the world
3. For you and me

1. .08% blood alcohol contempt
2. Cuissinart, chainsaw, boombooms
3. Hey-wait-a-minute

1. Middle finger
2. Middle East, Middle Earth, Mid West
3. Middling

1. Bite, chew, swallow, inhale, gulp, masticate
2. The whole hog whole
3. Constipated; can't possibly shit that much meat

1. Parasites, vultures, viruses, canine
2. But I was just (...)
3. Oh well



(eyes used for tooth support)

Ergonomic Disc Tenderly... excerpt from 11.16.10/wmpg.org

http://cranksturgeon.podomatic.com/entry/2010-11-28T21_39_39-08_00

Ergonomic Disc Tenderly... excerpt from 11.16.10/wmpg.org

Inadvertent Tree Chasm

1. Anthro


2. Po


3. Morph



4. Eyes

Glow hüs/frostnight

1. Treatment green



2. Treatment warm despite

Maughty Feist

One person's efforts were met by another's retort. Cotton would be inserted in the gentle cleft that presided over seriousness and half-born ideas of salt, black shirts, and a sea-sung level of spite that neveryoumind, hung the bison (or like them) in a manner less-fitting that of kings, serfs, and the able rapture of tv-gawkers and their pumice-covered hands, unclean and well-liked like uncles with peduncle shafts grown over leavened land or some unpronounceable neighborhood next top-hatted ring to the sherry poff-poff or selling point rescind (all three, even barely capable to create a four cornering bicorn treat in dappled confectioner's sugar, lapping cats, measured in fits of columns unthought, stuffed, hoarded, goals scored and scorned, plates and lessons in stretching ions less, forty dollar deals, really good times spent in forensic/scenic lavatories, bullrings, bull-berry, bullocks, ball-grabbers, beer-washer-downs, olive-pinchers, and lazy gif friends); in matters in-fighting flings, dukes, sharpies, rarebit Harry, carpets clung like stalactites in a sulphuric yellow or curried phases hellfire in an onomatopoetic ring-a-ding-ding moat around the capable but cable-tethered theatre babble and brooke thereafter/she-dung, lobster pale, ready fro/to the brim, you-got-it/I-got-nothing moment of health, heath scratch, and roster the losses in a fanatic lounge, rearing its young like fawns and glens and feature-length reminders: this ain't the ain't so moment.

But?
Where was the abutment; forgo that wellness sending scent: where were we in the wheel of pyre-spinning and spools unspindly tire-wide and torts unconstituting, unclapped, uncle clap-bored, or worse, amiss here, a shanty wrought of oxides and silt, that daunting deign, auntie Reign. Things were probably a breast brethren easier before we blogged, logged, made pooping sounds, and enacted instance-defying fair weather seasonal faces. But then, in a moment of simulacrum, perhaps in the asp of breeding, you could still intone the codes that had all of us gentles breathing a symbol or thrice there-over. The detriment of newly whelp and cultural meme had a tree or two (umber beech or ash, most likely), and then the then-would fine a seal that on occasion, would gulp and reveal that symmetry, a cold shake shudder that felt the cap when the circle-8 sun would grin. Baby, it ain't your most sullen dive, but the flax and steering made for subtle touches on a side-by-side; loved that shade and well-worn wiping sound the pants would ache!

German Lesson

For tzara's seventh peanut

cumulative

- error thinking
- error art
- art error
- out error
- our terror
- terror rat
- terra rate
- terrible taste
- seditious haste


(eyes used for tooth support)

Aktion riddle

(eyes used for tooth support)

Drag those lines stereo

(eyes used for tooth support)

Dear Mike...

Ignoring your last advice, I have in fact, shamed my country. Or perhaps my county-- which is smaller and more manageable to shame.

Here's a list:

1. Town
2. County
3. State
4. Region
5. Country
6. Continent
7. Hemisphere

Here are ingredients to apply to the corresponding numbers:

1. Eggs
2. Hair
3. Leaves
4. A hill
5. Rusted pipes
6. An egret
7. Yarn or twine

Alternatively, the following list can combine with the aforementioned itinerary to essentially burn a few calories:

1. Pooping accident
2. Parachute sideways
3. Having a bee in the bonnet
4. Mowing a yawn
5. Breaking LP's in half
6. Yelling at a tree
7. Gagging sounds every third blink

The next items have little to do with anything except make liars out of us all:

1. Knotting pant legs together
2. Candles on top of a milkshake
3. Reading bibles or magazines
4. Writing every tenth second
5. Hesitating to ask
6. Playing dodgeball with onions
7. Eating birdseed with yogurt

Last, this list acts as another corresponding addendum. Don't misread!

1. Soaping up
2. Letting the oil sit
3. Lingering in amazement
4. Fighting with feathers
5. Tables in a river
6. Bending you over
7. Answering every fourth minute

(~<•>~)

(eyes used for tooth support)

(hill wrinkle)

Hog high and ties to the river

Sent a dollar in.
Made a mint back; told the others not to fallow (grass not greener, s'up). Made a list, even: measured in the line, kept the graphite in a steady, told the paupers not to shrug so much, did a heap of online wagers, wagonwheel pasties, good boobs that were always hidden, doogus loco-vores on high fumes low plenty in a shame sheen of votive candles and dandy birthing rites left to clover under a bested yield suppressant. Shit yeah, told the scold of seven sister message centers, shields held high against the ides of acrimony and bad 8 bit toil trees. He'd record-kept enough, but it was all childish, waspy, untough around the waist, and went to places where seconds were second to our impoper us/or/& use of possessives. Too many lisps, really; treaties tried too hardened and understoodly of whittle. And quite likely? No, you didn't not dislike it, it does little matter unlikeable sort to shy near towards, and with a weight unsightly and buoyant, so many shanties to cross over and shed, with finalmeants asks the guy in carrotnose: Signs? It males the femmes in makes of dress that cause cost to hayshower and clay mate the rest of the week in query of why-the-hell's-bane, why-the-whey-of-want, while's-the-may... oh cute and all: a festive buffer, maybe, but our percentage pouts had to fine or smote a lesson of shake-the-jake; a reliable source shored up, sorries n' all, but our lore wasn't even close to a postage stamp worthington. Remember, it was all about cause cutters.



(~<•>~)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Untottled

1. No rhyme
2. No season
3. No time
4. No reason


(eyes used for tooth support)

American folklore action

Props:
Flashlight, copy of Wall St Journal, cotton string, rosin, bread knife, bag of marbles and/or flour, and a recitation of the breakdown of the word "foreclosure" (close, sure, for, four, force, lure, lore, floor, flour, flee, reef, recluse, leer, course, refuse, rule, clues, coors, fools, roof, refer, soul, cool, see, feel, sole, seer, solo, flue, floe, eco, loco, seoul, slue, recur, recuse, sue, rue, FU, core, score, louse, locus, focus, foul, loser, reel, sore, free)

(~<•>~)



(eyes used for tooth support)

Spray uncle action prop

1. Tube socks (if they exist anymore)
2. Wood glue
3. Melodica
4. Whiskey
5. "40 something" disposable cups


(eyes used for tooth support)

Erotic Event

1. Auto.
2. Otto.
3. Aww, toe.
4. Odd, oh.
5. Awe? Tow!
6. Ah, dough...
6 1/2. Ought-oh.
7. Ahhh! Doe!!


(eyes used for tooth support)

Dictation software accident and carnival cruise ship dysentery sandwich worldwide (perhaps)

1.
Make mouth sounds that sound like words but aren't actual words. Record this with dictation software.
2.
Bob dad 12 seven my Google stinky rat just think how good these new
boards it'll bother boost mode instantly blank you bro give me a kebab
and I'm stuck in fish I am going we you want I will most up to you to
call you be easy but when you will update when you bringing home
buying him stuff and I did three tree tree tree tree tree man you got
Glenn Clemens didn't call me but I is you would surrender unit to
vibrate and then I'm going great TV
3.
Deliver this in the manner of a flattering speech to foreign dignitaries
4.
(~<•>~)
5.
(eyes used for tooth support)

Red tide...

Big ol' big ol'...
Wash that tide up close; snug bug algae bloom and such. 1953. Maybe more, definite third step back (crevasse). No one or twosomes thricewide are safe and pink 'nymore. Now it's plastic shielded, colored white through and through, and as dumb as they come-- probably home schooled or so tuned in they can't unwind the peg, let alone drop D. The reak of oil and a bad toke shimmy up and chime too: the omen, the imminent, the soap, the scared. Everything will be ripped from the horn: foreigners and unwanteds sent packing or reagan shaved or forced into belabor cramps; made into merde, or pariah-tied into convincing them that we too are true blues, red apostles, and nancy comix. Still, it's unlikely. Once the censors censure and insure that the sign reads of fine fodder, the rest could pry an eye to other likelihoods: food, just maybe-- were if they smart enough to seize upon valuable protein potential-- but rest E-Z, shan't happen, lest they're told. The one good thing about the complicit ones is that they only do what they're told. But you an' me are gonna hafta blend in for a little while, or risk being bled when the torches & pitchforks come marching.


(eyes used for tooth support)

Props for Election Day (#16)

A large pepperoni pizza, spool of bright blue yarn, a staple gun, one operational record player, and last year's calendar.

(eyes used for tooth support)

Unspecified Props (#2)(for Jim Leftwich)

1. door
2. spider plant
3. spool of red yarn
4. copy of Moby Dick


(eyes used for tooth support)

Hole Act (denuded props #13)

1. Attempt to put things into holes.
2. Holes are simple circles cut out of black paper.
3. Just like the Warner Brothers' cartoon.


(eyes used for tooth support)

Nature rude for Zen (reassignment #12)

Go for a walk in the woods.
Assign the letter "P" to every hole you encounter.

Go back the next day and for karmic redemption, replace every "P" with the letter "W".

(eyes used for tooth support)

Prop Act Delusion #9

1. Attempt to make an omelet with eggs and leaves
2. Call it: "an attempt to bypass winter this year"
3. Or get political and mention global warming and the ramifications with ostriches (in which case, add sand as well)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Them's...

... a letter!



(eyes used for tooth support)

Sacred & Propel pt. 2

Here are some action pix of the hoboplane from the Sacred & Profane! Muchas thankees to Jeff Brussel for these snaps!
1. During


2. Midst



3. Fin



(aiii's sewed foray trophy snort)

Crankinterviewoctober 2010

The following is an interview with Miles Pflanz, conducted by email over the months of September and October, 2010.
Reprinted with permission.

1. Do you love America?

Pragmatically speaking, no.
Fundamentally speaking, no.
Paradoxically speaking, yes.

2. how'd you first come to noise/performance art and how do you perceive yourself within those idioms today?

Lexicons of ancient yawning lawntenders. Oh my...

This shit was never new. I grew from a pod into a multiple limbed abler; trying on different layers of fur or tape, playing those transistors late at night because they reminded me of the sounds coming from my older brother's room-- they warmed things and kept the nightmares at bay because he was bigger and I was usually in the hospital. Once I got into bugs and lizards and creatures that only knew how to live, I adopted a few roles: science, biology, and book burning. College impounded these with cartographic treason. But it did provide tertiary sets of lips and teeth: I'd learned then on that society had a few angles.

Perceptually peaking, the talk of tongs and love keeps me horribly unable to release the sport in a fashion that'd not lay reigns to a histrionic meme. I know little about where things stood, stand, or grind heels. Clattering all around appears to be the only dish I can attest to, so throw your books away, lad, I've collected and collated enough for a veritable shrine! The compendium of learned screwball ascetics and all that not-very-Braxton-like jazz should be enough of a brigand for appraisal. Knowing the cons and confluences rinse affluence with effluence, it's best to regard these card houses with little to do with anything more than high brow toilet reads.

3. what is the perfect crime?

Nation-building.

4. how do you think the noise underground relates to previous (high culture) experiments in sound and performance? how do you think it relates to the practices/successes/failure of old avant gardes like the Futurists, Dadaists, Fluxus, etc?

Relatively speaking, the relativity is an ossified bucket, stuck on tandem rinse cyclical rotation, rotoring its gums at the gnash of precedents ignored, busily text messaging its next advent of notation through the glum veneer of peat and sickly white thoroughbred. Once a generation gets it right, another comes along and lays wear and tear without contextual footing, and then the whole thing goes bare-up -- and it's a lotta ass to contend with. See, we forget how pretty each autumn is. Instead, we glorify the past and make gibbons seem wiser than they really are. There's no dada anymore; no fluxus -- just a bunch of apes in bowler caps, caught on tape chatting on their lobster telephones. If the current bears would accept that maybe it's a nice symposium to simply stop reading, then we wouldn't have to waddle through another microcassette edition, another "seems-like-1995-all-over-again-moment", dig? The failed success of everything is dirt. All good rotors make acquisitions of oxidation, sedimentation, metamorphosis, and spend their quarters too quickly. But this is good. It's good to take the dirk and thrust a mile wide swathe in the heavily clothed lawn. While that's what sheep are for, the proverbial "zen" of the moment is stuck on hiatus, overly quaffed on hair-dentures and maybe, possibly, bestiality, or simply just the lack of appropriate mirrors angled throughout the room. But mind you, I enjoy the overly grotesque capitalizing on things no one really understands when it comes down to art. Let the good forest grab itself and let a good shake go down, dammit. There's no one tree, see?

5. as a countercultural figure, have you had any run-ins with conservative folk/the law?

Wearing the ghillie suit at concerts has held back most conserfatives. Tenderizing the emanation would seem to signify a more likely situation that would call for perhaps public flogging, pulling out the old wooden stocks, and maybe even a beheading or three, but understand, my friend, I'm a mere small potato, a fingerling, in their gestapo. While true, one of my roles is to simply counter things, the likelihood of rabble attaining knowledge of these incursions is highly unreal. Both sides, both strata, of the political compost, lack the eyes and ears and wings to barbecue us folk stars. Maybe if an endowment for the arts landed on my phallus, that inflatable limbaugh derision would accost and become aloft, but most people in most people's eyes, are ignored by all the other people. Try it sometime: walk through an interstate travel plaza and try to telepathize with your kin. Not working? No scheisse. Lest they appear on television, the cinema, or attain more stripes than Britney, the runs will streak only those who seek. And wearing a lotta camouflage helps too.

6. what record/movie/book always brings a tear to your eyes?

Pretty much everything!
Tearing through everything brings it all to a standstill: a veritable mountain, adjunct prosthesis, capillaries pumping hood ornaments, and James Stewart. I shit you knots, the best time ever was with a pocket "van dam"... there it was, laid tight against the skin, foil taped to either vein, and voila! Once starting in on a hefty walk, the swish of corduroys activated an electrolytic circuit! FUCK, I KNOW, RIGHT? Pleasure knew no bounds thereafter. Ducts would swell and smell of salt, my urine wouldn't discharge with regularity, and the arms grew teats where the elbow met the ulna, creating a diaspora of pain, smirks, and high-fiving leaflets. One more view of that movie and I was game, man.

7. were if NASA to ask, what would you include in a space craft/capsule for other intelligent lifeforms to discover (book, art object, music, etc)?

I'd ask NASA to include a small clear plastic ziploc baggie, containing one single, tiny grain of salt.

8. is there a political/civic purpose you attach to DIY America? Is there an ideal for this culture that you think has not been met?

No.
The carp and sock-puppets we ascribe to inhabit only begets the best of worst appeals for delayed obsolescence. Like that maneuver where the pawn falls deeper into the pitfalls of his own chagrin, the portents are pretty much staid, laid, and goners. True, idyllic corners can come from the wrested rooster wings (and assuredly taste well with a fine shimmer of oil, pinot noir, and thumb drives), but an old man once said that money was the real goal, and so, what being there a heaven and all, it's best to burn down the dreadhair domes and sincere lil' enclaves, allowing the arteries to affix themselves to a thematic ending proper, festooning these commies with the glow of pink, store-bought cartoonish clothing, and compel them to dance all night at some beleaguering festival with lotsa dope and techno, with the commonality mantra that THIS is freedom. In other words? Let it fry. But meanwhile, there are tomes and diet islands we can all run to, if willing to be ignored. The plight of politico and civic service is the gamut for talkshows, meaning, you're just gonna attract flies. The ideal for the runaway culture is failure: the constitution and stamina to stammer through obsolescence, and ceasing to be adolescent in thinking planetary knees can be salved by getting hippie and black flag about it. Once the groin pains end, the shimmer will arise again, but mind you, she's a legacy that will die like a gull-plucked crustacean.

9. what is the least amount of money it would take for you to bite off mike tyson's ear?

If you don't know where your Mike has been, then I strongly urge against any ear biting. Exchanging kisses for capitalism is akin to requesting the once elegant, now elderly golden retriever you're housesitting to not emit noxious odors or trail brown spots on the finely coifed shag. I'd rather take a mouthful of flatulence than fuck with a hapless aberrance with a penchant for cartilage.

10. given that yr music and performance contains comedic elements unusual within the noise world, how'd you come to use humor in yr work and what are yr thoughts on humor in music in general?

Humor is not really a gifted glib, nor a gibe at the dull aplomb of endless wall-noise cassettes, but it does help buffer the soapy cosmetic of "keeping it real". Were for it not for endorphin response in my own pawing the catalogs full of slick girl jean ads (can't have sass without a lil' ass), there'd be no clamor to rev. Other words? Penis. Damn funny. Not a holocaust. Besides, try and wrestle a giggleless missive without a holly jolly hug and tug. Try and not imagine a sixteen ton Python ending to the worst noise event you'd ever witnessed. It's in the bones to build a home, do some more banking, and feel that the stucco is there to identify, edify, and be the end-all endocrine, but that's just the prescription pill and orifice doing the belief mantra and envelope drone. Silly conservative it is to strive to just have a white walled room to put your pouts up for the brief fifteen minutes and have it better than all the whiles and wiles of beguiling yourself towards other conclusions.

I came to humor and quickly as it went. While it's in the bones to build a home, do some more banking, and feel that the stucco is there to identify, edify, and be the end-all endocrine, but that's just the prescription pill and orifice doing the belief mantra and envelope drone. Silly conservative it is to strive to just have a white walled room to put your pouts up for the brief fifteen minutes and have it better than all the whiles and wiles of beguiling yourself towards other conclusions. Whoops?

11. how did you become a cardboard fish? was there ever any consideration of becoming, say, a cardboard tank or tobacco field?

Cardboard is this wonderfully ubiquitous material that, like most consumers, can be manipulated into almost any form. I don't limit my exercises to just this material, mind you. There are innumerable discards from civilization to peruse, and for some reason these always make for reusable reintegration. As to how I became anything, the passage of time becomes us all; becoming is a smooch that a nice lady gives you in passing complement. Cardboard fits the prototype for temporary housing of ideas. Were if I to aspire to a coffee table book, surely steel and iron would be a gesture for better permanence, but try becoming an iron sturgeon and take that overseas in your backpack for a month of shows.

12. could you describe the process by which you come up with costumes/props and how that fits in with the sound element of yr performances?

Cheap discards are portentous as previously intoned. Lighter, faster, durable, portable. Don'tcha forgo the sneaky surprises, either! Hidden deliciousness inside the mind or the trousers or the sound; something up the sleeves. See, puns and boners or gender-bends always stir things up -- not that this is a personal fiction, but fact remains as compulsory as a calendar would belie the day-by-day. Like the penis, it's funny to try and fuck oneself without actually going through the surgical procedure. Convergences compound the nutrition count when adding the dual pole that self acknowledgment confounds the man, the fish, or a shitty duct taped costume -- intertwining these transistors and transcending crosswinds adds something more than mere duality. While trinities are forays into pope meals and cardinal hats, the jiggling belly of visual distortion whencesoever abuses the sonic notion, thereby becoming mated, sometimes obligatory, sometimes organic, and fourthly, juxtaposed.

Orgiastically would be a good word for the process by which you'd have me come up with fitting the leder hosen into a scant carpal or dearth splay of engorged yet undercovered patinas, toppled boulders, or balloon-like mammalian sorts, covered in not-quite hair, and toothless as they proboscis her nostrils along mazes of crushed velvety coffee comlinks, turning dentin into adrenaline, which is a terrible way of construing the euphemism for hanging around a Sharpie marker too long. And speaking of which, I have a bulletin board that also aids the process, reminding me that clean desks and uncluttered sweeps of multiple medium has no flow, no show, and no imperative to imply the contrariwise of not acting out one's scribbles! So you can see that delta were if you aloft: to-fro mad dashes from one end of the studio to the other; fortunate none to bother because I live in a barn, in the woods, all the while yelling at that fucking NPR station while I solder.

13. one of my favorite parts about yr performances are the lectures, as well as the casual talking that frequently occurs during a set. could you give me a quick lecture about the casual talking and a casual talk about the lectures for our readers?

Well, not really. I can't simply come up with this stuff. It's a level of playing that minds no matter nor abducts small helpless animals. If you take the whole gestalt or "kunst", pry it down a few lines on the prey-by-prey, you'll find that really tiny gestures of air and articulation find their meaning in the ill-fitting pants. Remember those jeans ads? If one were to abide by the "larger picture" i.e., panacea, then only this one form would be conveyed. All the hiccups and whispers that enshroud the day with their fears, tickles, and shivs, well? They'd go ignored, and you'd end up with just the mere big picture. Nobody wants that, really. Nobody likes to be told what is or isn't a message. People are funny that way. They eat small animals, drive yellow jeeps, and comb occasionally. I've taken to combing after a 25 year interlude. Now I'm worried less about the stuff that I find in the comb, rather, find it particularly fascinating. It's like pooping or cooking. Or taking a walk. Little elements bind their gasps with flappy tents, tenants to the process, applicants, bankers, forest management types, all combers and cops that help the junction flow more clearly. Take time, one day, to allow this for yourself. You'll find the tangents can tell a better parable than all your late nights hanging out with actual literature that's well written and has all the ingredients of opus.

14. what celebrity/public figure would you most enjoy to dress up in yr costumes and have perform yr entire act for you?

James Hetfield from Metallica.

15. yr contact mics are notoriously awesome. what about contact mics/the amplification of small sound appeals to you?

You rake things, sweep things, or use the tiny brass disc as a livingroom newscenter piece. I'm surprised that not many people have "picked up" on this. The very real multiplicity of piezo electronics is effervescent to me: it's a speaker, it's a vibraphone, it's a stethoscope. The pling plungs and wispy rasps of tiny object have this notoriously fascinating quality, harkening back to instincts developed in maybe that of a primordial cat or batlike creature, having discovered some form of delicious treat under a rock, clicking or singing on its own lonesome high right before the predator gleefully lunges and munches the bug or mouse into paté. Finding the hidden scrunches inside objects is rather akin to this closeted development. And plus, we adults have so retarded our own giddy socialism with that aforementioned "big picture" I was going off about. Instead, we try and bungle our way through parties by being polite, resisting the urge to play with our zippers or fondle buttons. I remember being scolded one time for chasing a cave cricket that had wandered into a restaurant. I was simply trying to rescue the little guy before a human heel made better work of it. That, and katydids. Exoskeletons are really badass things: clattering with their rosin-soft feet and antennae, begging tenfold to be amplified-- piezos turn these into austere occasions.

16. crank sturgeon is nearing a twentieth anniversary correct? any chance of a crank sturgeon army forming to battle the kiss army/real armies?

Correct in the twentieth nearing, but it'd be an oh-god moment to chance you the dream of clones, drones, and shipments to foreign lands to be mossed and leaded into fabrication or merchandise. Please let there only be one Crank, and let him slip slide away, well away, way the frig and fowl and fug away from the froth of army and cult celebrity t-shirt half breed. It's certainly nice to be alive however. In this light, I've worn a crank sturgeon t-shirt now and again. When asked what's the meaning of the shirt, I always answer in the third person, gushing geysers like an oleiferous prepubertal with this special ten step eye-glazing formula I now market. Eye creams are all the rage!

17. in my town they are building a mosque that has somehow become a concern for national security. what buildings do you wish were never built?

All of Ayn Rand's monumental heaps of excrement.

18. you've managed to be one hell of a productive person for a long stretch of time. got any advice for weirdoes aspiring to grandeur?

That's really nice of you to say! At this juncture, all this soap has still been pretty funny. You go to wash sometimes and come back with that less-than-fresh feeling; and some days this is like a bout, or a dash of gout maybe? Yep, endocrine again. Not the panacea-thing, but pituitary. Orange, or even a little jaundiced. And like a double gauged repeater, where endless scrubbings do little to shave or get you to that "Artaud" sort of "place"; (I know, I know) how maddening it is, to try and lift and toss the same caber for the same Scots and the same clan and the same binary bivalve lot. For shits, I'd suggest trying a few other cyclic procedures, I mean, you can't actually clean a clam without killing it, right? If however, you really gotta go, then hell, follow thy bliss, proud sage! But in such bequest, I'll offer the following travails:

-All the beers attest to little, however. Watch the suds, guys and gals and in-betweens. Foam should come from vigorous rubbing, like Max Ernst used to do with his "frottage" exercises. It's better to have calluses than a habit trail of irony and bloated forty-something discourses on hops, inability to maintain erections under said duress, and casting aspersions on fellow sapiens when you fall down in a mire of classless tact, gin blossoming countenances, and less fancier embolisms. In other words, there are better ways to be killed.

-Mind others! This piddle is a relinquishing of yours, mine, and ample punctuation. Don't sheepishly tail the length through the legs, as this will hoop you towards a recent doom, but in balance, it's nice to know the cheques won't suffer from rubber and will adhere to oneself and one's loved ones like a bit of amber, all pie-eyed, readying for spreading, sort of like Nutella, but minus the sodium bicarbonate. Too much alkali sends the breath and halitosis into a frenzy of "oi's" and that's not very Beuys of you. Not to nationalize things, but it's good to respect. All living things.

-That said, like an interesting Catholic artist I knew who used to wear antlers and plug speaker cones into wall sockets once stated triumphantly: "try not masturbating". Acknowledging that this is about as loaded as a Boston precinct's allegory on why some lofty boy-touchers ought to be spayed, in a different hue, the guy had a point, and it'd be microcephalic to take mean of his allegiance for piousness with fouling the lives of others. Now and again, I think about this when plugging things into wall sockets.

-The final travail? Heck, it doesn't matter. Try and absorb like a sponge, but don't not forget to write about actual non-stuff. Blogs and the elucidations from people on sabbatical with their wretched stare-banks that have never seen nor heard word from the grace and physiognomy of where two feet can take 'em, well... these pour through the sieve with poignant tell-all's about nothing; which apparently knowing nothing is parenthetically (something) these days? I say if it gets you laid, great!

19. what is the worst injury in sports history according to your imagination?

My imagination is porous with what injuriousness the soles can spare with their parting gasses; and on the account and tribune of hundreds of tiny classified ads, whirring their showcasing sales on portals, would-be-jousting tournaments, the streets of Pamplona, and civic unrest untested as litmus for entertainment for some subversive cause, namely the NBC network, these gallant ramparts are rampant with an ideologue paralleling jockey briefs too close to home. But like I said, if it gets you spayed, great!

20. what sound gives you the most inspiration?

Yours.











(eyes used for tooth support)

Shupshupshup by Crank Sturgeon

Shupshupshup by Crank Sturgeon

125 forays for the Sacred & Profane

The following were cut up into individual lines, inserted into envelopes (with some other goodies), and delivered as airmail via the hoboplane, at this year's Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Battery Steele, Peaks Island, Maine.

1. make a day out of it
2. bend the ruler in two
3. a knuckle more north
4. surely to shuck the sheen
5. is mort the merrier?
6. eat a cloud
7. my highway or the way
8. busier gets ceases ease
9. known a few hurtles
10. half-sawed soothe
11. excess the best of you
12. go unnoticed
13. sexercise
14. throw a throat long
15. shower your guilt with guile
16. bed rested head weight
17. and then there we're
18. on holding pawn
19. one flue o'er the haiku chest
20. worn up
21. islands sound
22. the nightly toe to dawn
23. her wane and his addle
24. a priori apt
25. nestled with a chin forward
26. say you're yes
27. along a periodontal tremor
28. sit in a very close between
29. my shoes foundered shrewd shopping
30. laid blame for a staid censure
31. and what fun on the sun?
32. he totaled more than fore
33. very very to the word
34. size says seas
35. run a long calendar for a minute
36. mating under-paired
37. thirst aghast and toast less moist
38. on pest was pain
39. surrender corners toured
40. able will you ever seek
41. drink forty more
42. wellness dapples the sky in the pie
43. on benders after each under
44. mighty high for a cake to tail
45. lessons lighted the was once
46. ahead said yesterday's reversal
47. coinage loess in sediment story
48. hags for sail
49. bereft of anklets
50. his new ploy pined
51. lensing your satisfied tense
52. sorry for the woodsy raid
53. pressure heck
54. in boxes borrowed you'd fine
55. floral filling
56. animals with ire
57. best angina holed for dates
58. protest hands in seven minuets
59. looks on the radar for a second angel
60. will get there in a few
61. didn't seek its coming
62. a yawn tides
63. hoist reason and stay there
64. but you'll be back when?
65. she soul sanctuary at he see, sure
66. time and again, feel free to try it
67. mended while meant well
68. play the roll
69. steppe after dune
70. sulky legendary
71. national tress yore
72. to cool, for school
73. friendly reprobate awaiting?
74. start a sedition
75. this page tension
76. cull your lawyers
77. treads dumb of choices
78. aloft scoffed
79. prey for reign
80. long wide kyle
81. be OK for a minute, okay?
82. ossify the bust of them
83. may wait for the made to make
84. suits don't require
85. ellipse will dot your times infinity
86. tall will tell
87. a forgotten nod to the cleft
88. buy sheer, buy luck alone
89. growths will
90. dote to remember
91. parent's epithet in lion
92. ghost and mode for book's ache
93. edit hex
94. don't panic doe toll
95. lend a line to find along
96. clocks scold, winter slighted
97. please, pleas me
98. running out of go to get
99. tending tire ring trigger air
100. applications out stand
101. red for several blue buckets
102. sought a long the sane
103. berry or teat treaty?
104. sow over their are
105. tons of grape wrap snot
106. knotted 'til you tied triton
107. elapses on nouns
108. difficult indifferent
109. sold hawaiian
110. sewn sentry cents
111. you don't have cable?
112. many leans mean any weaning
113. cherish the had
114. join the arm; me
115. you funny thing
116. left over soar wall
117. that one kind of s
118. ladle the well
119. don't folk on it
120. today knew to then
121. gal ant, in lower cast less
122. noble piss price, awards care money
123. hope you hop or don't
124. all the memos be have
125. tests butter bedding trust

Pardon the vulgarity

Bothers me to no end the rancor seer/upping from this republic. To bash and smash-- or brown shirt the heads of people you disagree with is a crock; as well as an admonition for the rest of us. Disparaging and eschewing doesn't chew the kernal any better. But what can a fish do, fry?
(eyes used for tooth support)

Sacred & Propel

Day one: we huffed and hauled this in a few parts, ferried it out to the enchanted isle, jerried it up with ropes and rigs, and anointed it with a whisky drop, being certain to let a few drips fall to the ground as toast to those who'd come and gone before us.


Day two: we added signage and bits and fees for consultation (got 'ny spare change? We're flyin' this Miami!). Other bums showed up as well: the copilot and his flooming parachute trailing behind him as he'd run in circles, spinning the jet prop into a centrifuge of tornadic delight. The floosie wife also arrived, dripping smeared lipstick and flashing her grassy loins to unsuspecting attendees. The captain would take the brunt of it, enduring vertigo and delivering airmail and flying through several cardboard cloud fronts, resting the bupbupbupbup at journey's end with $3.40 left over in a tipsy old paper cup. By nightfall we were all there, thousandfold shagged but with warm grins and gift given depleted; the moon made up the rest with her million mile shine.


(fish don't swim: fish fly)

Beer action (for Taggart)

Ode to Günter Brus, albeit Americanized
0. Perfectly sober
1. Stick penis into empty pint glass
2. Add beer, preferably a lager or pilsner
3. Add a straw or multiple straws (if feeling altruistic with an audience, girlfriend, boyfriend, frat brothers, friends of legal drinking age, so forth)
4. Enjoy!


(eyes used for tooth support)

firecordwoodtestust by Crank Sturgeon

firecordwoodtestust by Crank Sturgeon. Uploaded with FiRe

Plinking

Lincoln?
Never brash, knee bask, neh-bashhh...
Caw, kah, kuh...




(eyes used for tooth support)

walking the ropppp/foto by M.Schneider

See, I wouldn't lie.
Sea's. Eyes wooden wide...
Cease? Never ask wise.
Seize: n'other fishy guy!

Sunny & blasé

1. Wear an upside down triangle
2. Fill it with clouds
3. Say a prayer
4. For ten minutes


(eyes used for tooth support)

low slumps

Added bones for a minute.
1. took out the rash
2. deposit heck in the tank
3. cider the cold/ing metronome, wilt, regional forties, stammered paper feeling, modems in lieu of podium

Roster for proper bone minutes then later treated with a forthcoming served warp (you've what/so hard):
1. (this page left intentionally blank)
2. kept up reappearances
3. sabre-soothe-geiger

Returning aforementioned ribcage to the following treaties; parred with sheeps of pair, sect, laser blazers, poly, anne, marrow.
1. meow
2. constitutional wall noises
3. oak/tea/blend/loose/cut/pot/potter/pottle/rattle/tote/bag/tough

Firing off a series of squares, other shirts ironed with the cartilage of bellying up a bit, or maybe just a little.
1. impenetrable accents offering you their services
2. nineteen fifty three (ore) two thousand three
3. charity disparity

Impetuous letters received and placed in columns instead of hardening tendons fused as walking sticks.
1. inquisitive notation (said to insist, requests duly annotated, prerogatives why not?)
2. palpable squire, squirting eskers, trombones in the distance
3. water blogged

Onafaoctsnymi6 by Crank Sturgeon

Onafaoctsnymi6 by Crank Sturgeon

Onafaoctsnymi6 by Crank Sturgeon

Onafaoctsnymi6 by Crank Sturgeon

onafaoctsnymi11

11 onafaoctsnymi11 by Crank Sturgeon

bits end...

The tour raspy had a throat in check and several left astounding. It'd been a while on the tappy tip, and with a few points to note perhaps, all said it was alkaline. Where the throat went, so did the sheets of bacon and roads of ploys to scenic the styrene and poly-able. I'd cashed the gable with Mike's hand on the wheel while the other guys lollied in the back. Bunch a' dusty roads ahead, behind, and mops lacking that critical ingredient: moisture. In check too, was our agent--- this backwoods sort who shunned sheep and too much vitamin D. Too many would find their wires to him, a formidable walking jabber of pony express and voltage canals, lingering like a ruin or an emptied harlot's tape, subtle to drip holes, wary of the barking roles at his anklets: deep mustering a cough for esophageal coins and clothes (in autumn red burgundy) still tro-lo-lo'ing off an internet camphor call clearings, bloodied hangnails, dangling cubistic or bruitisme or sallow inky, like Redon's dark spiders-- looking like first they'd been splattered with careless glissando when having to decided to grow legs. All the ink in the world couldn't issue the freely long. American dreamer taken to terrier sloth or bricks and a brisket worth its pie-eyes in foolish pyrite and igneous deposit could see to that. Entire hills seemed to slide away. Pie eaters, papers in slings, balls to the couture, and a table in the teeth, the trip would probably emanate for at least a day or two more; steadied while we pored through the ration barrels, aloof with context and hairs and calluses.

tour bits...

(blessed be the Styrofoam Sanchez; blessed be the fruits & nuts of California!)