insp/ite/ire

Wouldn't it be easier to just use a laptop?



(no plugs for Macs, just jacks)

Eyes of satan not withstanding

Sploo for seven days through twelve, calling an authority figure every so often (hourly) to confirm a) your mirror b) your sins c) leftover accoutrements of nondescript formulaic descent that ultimately render points d) moot e) moist f) seven through twelve g) words that don't begin with the letter G.

Once applied to varying degrees, doctorates, elves, and delvings of otherwise not withstanding sordid natures, take the reason-to-be and reapply (decoupage) in a manner of a smear tactic, calling for the resignation of fuckin' near everything. Do this in a manner that is lighter than air, so as not to sink below the levels of bars raised so low so that you cannot go any lower, slower, or limbo in manners unforeseeable.

Not good? Join a guild or local chapter of anything. Make nice embossing stamps to reflect this allegiance. Write words with prefixes at the end of suffixes, aping the congenial nature of impropriety; i.e., wrong apostrophe and parentheticals a must! Send leaflets to the various aforementioned hourly dudes, making sure you're doing okay in their eyes. If not, return to the method of smudge, which blurs the lines, remember? Keep a journal until one day an accident befalls you and unwittingly the journal goes into the wrong hands. Take prescription pills in order to "get over it". Good luck with that.


(eyes used for tooth support)

Irony

Irony, that bitch, runs thru it like a sieve. I guess I cannot complain, as that would sound like everyone else's "right" to bemoan the practices and standards of reality, or purported reality, heh. Bit the bite, tho'. Goddamn that border.
On one side there's the bungled immigration clauses and bureaucracy that denies a performance artist from crossing over to mebby make a couple bux, not fleece the system as would some actually popular stadium-filling rock combo; then a mere sixty feet away is the puff and stuff mustachioed police state of shamerica, who hold you up for no apparent reason, and you sit there waiting, waiting, waiting.
We used to be nice to one another, these two countries. Now we eye each other with suspicion: stealing, bombing, texting, winking. The neighbors are going about their gardening, across the street from the postage stamp customs office-- and blithely too, it'd seem. Funny how we choose to reside next to hornets' nests, as if nothing will happen. And this make believe line that intersects the french from the english? Fines, fees, and detention threats, hissed at me from the jowls of asps.
Fuck you both.


(eyes used for tooth support)

a moment of eech'ness

I'll never understand why some people want to either take credit for the successes of others or worse, try and make those people somehow feel guilty for their achievements.


(eyes used for tooth support)

Husopathic video memes

Here's a schnooker at some video from the Husopathy show. Highly edited. Super detailed. Shortlived. You know the drill...

Husopathy Zwei

More mobile shots from the Husopathy show.
Summary?
Make.
Take an idea, abandon it, rephrase; have a blast. Make it happen, by all means!

Enjoy.
By all means. Whatever it is you do, too.















(eyes used for tooth support)

I wood be re moist

I wood e ee rre.
I wooden bee a moist remiss to catchen kan, dunce the toils, and motor a monitor eekly. Size the ten? Shirt atari and starch krispy klips; sow mort and toë, böe, listing the oh's with sizeable u's. Fred cherry whisp the nightie plier laid jammed with hammers up on the tithesday tills, oils, and shared ee on vindine leps; prada ahora and pardon shores; lifty clothy eared, reared on eating its young. Nonesuch fakirs, acres faked on the look of books and digital meals for seven wheels, while the while the forty seven brides will bite your alley and fond ruce on the chaywood, nontana, and titles of leftover kings with tan/demn denim iam van dam's rollie eitheim vulgar bolga told tellyville sold to the eel estate and ex stacy vonce vulcansizers and peat citera cherish folders of lanolinseedstable and the pecks of sorrow, ruspy in cleeole, creoliandic, parisfranceomigod, and yes (freiburg), the dust of busted tomes. Ranch dressers and the bureaus of odded tax persuasion suede poo's came forehead over oberbach, ool, and further ee mentioned rr re and the e over i without a capitold conniptipn stid, sexy nondisclosure (btw). A teo and layla cauber verve that shunned our that we coldly proudsome; a world-world worksine timmy work one twenty one five and what wah the aztekkle hatchback, a rope a dope bills doddle lexing weases, chases, sea fortune daff; pley pleated comfort toon, that's the hoarfrost talking dixie (lol).


(es us or hoth supper time, dimmy!)

You know it's a good show when...

One has the following:







(girl pile... I swear officer, it wasn't me)

5. and Bob's your carbuncle...

1.
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
2.
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
3.
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
Quebec n'est pas prêt pour L'esturgeon
4.
(eyes used for tooth support)

Husopathy in no particular order

(eyes used for tooth support)

Reprinted without permission

Received this today. Pure genius. Generous. Genus. Jean Yes.



Paired Event Scores
Matt Taggart and Jim Leftwich

_______________


Debate Event

Matt Taggart



Items needed:
One bucket
Paper and pencils
Two performers



Have audience write on paper unlikely topics of debate
Put into bucket
One performer choose topic at random
Debate on subject











Debate Poem Event

Jim Leftwich



Items needed:
One bucket
Paper and pencils
Any number of performers



Have audience and/or performers write on paper unlikely topics of debate
Put into bucket
Performers choose topics at random
Arrange as a poem and read to audience





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Debate Two

Matt Taggart



Instead of audience choosing topic, performers pick topics prior to performance.

Fill bucket with water.

Start debate.

When one performer can't defend his/her side take bucket and throw at other performer.





Debate Two 2
Jim Leftwich

Items needed:
a table
two chairs
two performers, seated in chairs, facing across table
several buckets filled with water

performers take turns throwing water on each other
debate is over when performers run out of water




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Own worst critic

Matt Taggart



Set up a showing of your artwork at a local gallery
During the show take down your artwork and replace it with another artists work









Own worst critic 2

Jim Leftwich



2 eggs

1 rock









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Reality event

Matt Taggart



Write your dreams down on paper
Throw in garbage








Reality Event 2

Jim Leftwich



Refuse









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Economic Kiss Off

Matt Taggart



Open a kissing booth anywhere
Close kissing booth due to lack of customers
Draw unemployment for a year





Revised Kissing Booth Business Plan
Jim Leftwich

You will need:
a ladder
a window
the moon




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shredded text event
jim leftwich

find a bag of shredded text
perform it

(for as many performers as you can get)





shredded text event two
matt taggart

find a bag of shredded text
use as a pillow
take a nap

(for one performer)





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psychogeographical game of the week #001
jim leftwich

walk from your house to the nearest post office
document the walk
mail the documentation to a friend





psychogeographical game of the week #001.2
matt taggart

walk from your house to the farthest post office
document the walk
mail the documentation to yourself





|||||||||||||||




psychogeographical game of the week #002
jim leftwich

walk from your house to the nearest post office
pick up trash along the way
mail it to a friend





psychogeographical game of the week #002.1
matt taggart

walk from your house to the farthest post office
pick up trash along the way
mail it to yourself





|||||||||||||||


psychogeographical game of the week #003
jim leftwich

walk from your house to the nearest copy shop
pick up trash along the way
do something with it
do something else with it





psychogeographical game of the week #003.1
matt taggart

walk from your house to the farthest copy shop
pick up trash along the way
place trash in every garbage bin in copy shop




|||||||||||||||


Coffee For The Road
Matt Taggart

Buy a cup of coffee
Pour it on the road






Coffee For The Toad
Jim Leftwich

Make a cup of coffee
Drink it with a frog





|||||||||||||||



props for unspecified events #1
jim leftwich

1. a box of toothpicks
2. a hatrack
3. a folding chair





|||||||||||||||




props for unspecified events #2
jim leftwich

1. a flower pot
2. a step ladder
3. two hats





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props for unspecified events #3
jim leftwich

1. a whistle
2. a box of crayons
3. a can of chicken soup





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props for unspecified events #4
jim leftwich

1. a wooden spoon
2. a wet umbrella
3. a pair of tennis shoes





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Props for unspecified events #5

Matt Taggart


1. Duct tape
2. Rope
3. Orange juice







|||||||||||||||









Props for unspecified events #6

Matt Taggart


1. One cloud
2. A balloon
3. Time







|||||||||||||||









Props for unspecified events #7

Matt Taggart


1. Jim Leftwich
2. Matt Taggart
3. Time







|||||||||||||||









Props for unspecified events #8

Matt Taggart


1. Gasoline
2. Paintbrush
3. A copy of the fluxus performance workbook





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cold reception
Matt Taggart

When performer introduces themselves audience throws cold water on them.




bold reception

performer hands out copies of his event scores.
sits in a chair on stage and watches as audience members perform his scores.




|||||||||||||||






--
www.openfluxus.org/profile/matttaggart
mattaggart.podomatic.com
threewindowevents.blogspot.com
pcrv.blogspot.com


(eyes used for tooth support)

Huso paths and logs

Printing.
Gobs and globs of glib printing. All and one and nine none forebears later, the beginning is quite late in the season to compete with young girls or made men. Trust me, it cannot be done. I lob a few oysters at the carapace, recalling last Monday's conversation in the mountain drive thru New Hampshire about carbuncles and acne as in the form of glacial activity and tectonics. My accountant is an odd feller, but these are the conversations that station between sandwiches during our drive. The truck handles remarkably well and it's great to shift a vehicle like that-- to feel the gears and have the windows down and feel the stick roll into fourth and roar with testosterone. The made men and ladies would scribble their brows probably. Too banal, too simple, they'd complain. Ink it, though. A grey veneer that's palpable to the smell and sines and I swear there's a leer that keels an underlay of staring, rejection, and even the possibility of hope. Glyphs and petrol and thinking. It's been a mad onset these last few days of printing, printing, and more printing... variables await, sure. Like a dope, it's work and craving as well-- mostly foodstuffs like ketchup or regret. A girl posts "roulette yrself" during an episode of husobliviogue last night. Maybe I made it too shiny (?) but Tzara and his probable (-25 vote) gives a hypotheme and injection; a stand to the green pedestal and hanker of self worth that betrothes the deemed store of approval and common courtesy. Nothing to be shamed about work, ink, acne, and shiny outpourings. Too bad we're all critics with no magazines in paper to verify our blight and spite. Bah, no matter! And civilization? Meh.


(eyes used for tooth support)

Panta Claws

This was sent to me by way of email from Matt Taggart, aka, PCRV. The recipe was to wear the pants, take a snap, and send the pants to a friend to do likewise. Chain letter clothes? Naah. No curse or hex; nor the huffy mail artist ego to bruise. Pants are something we can all relate to, perhaps. Sending shredded clothing in the mail is probably not going to expand anyone's universe, nor foment rebellions. It neither addresses a fetish, blasts the sky with Jeffersonian smiles, or makes for a better collection of recipes to gloat over at a later date with the presumptuous "look what I did". Well, mebby a little of that, heh.
Now. Adjust the pose, it's just clothes, now juxtapose.



(eyes used for tooth support)

Relief from the hot summer somnambulism

Instruction for a balmy morning. This may or may not take several minutes/hours to do...

1. Ponder your book or magazine horde one morning instead of listening to the damn news on the radio or catching up on happenings, emails, so forth, on the internet.
2. Go through these publications until one if them gives you an A-HA moment. Again, this may or may not take several minutes to do. If having a hard time finding such, call in sick to work with a lame excuse such as "plumbing problems". Given the context, this can be applicable to your quest. Think about it.
3. Upon finding your A-HA moment, bookmark the page, close book for future reading, and proceed with your day.


(eyes used for tooth support)

jettisoning the demoralizers

(mirroring your sleuth-sayers, the conduits and fans might reflect poorly on your decision to play pawn to the prawnlord: his roe a roar of blooms and brooms, none other could pry dictation them there vaguely registered impetus(plural?)(=$); and I'll say it: "the whore, the hairier")

F. F.

Undisclosed location, Vermont.






(no, yes... the ecstatic & the bored)