a third rate, fourth place, tenuous at best, unabridged yet oft-truncated collection of calumny & travails from the last manfish standing, husophonic orator & chronic fumbler, his nipples (minus 3), Crank Sturgeon
One person's efforts were met by another's retort. Cotton would be inserted in the gentle cleft that presided over seriousness and half-born ideas of salt, black shirts, and a sea-sung level of spite that neveryoumind, hung the bison (or like them) in a manner less-fitting that of kings, serfs, and the able rapture of tv-gawkers and their pumice-covered hands, unclean and well-liked like uncles with peduncle shafts grown over leavened land or some unpronounceable neighborhood next top-hatted ring to the sherry poff-poff or selling point rescind (all three, even barely capable to create a four cornering bicorn treat in dappled confectioner's sugar, lapping cats, measured in fits of columns unthought, stuffed, hoarded, goals scored and scorned, plates and lessons in stretching ions less, forty dollar deals, really good times spent in forensic/scenic lavatories, bullrings, bull-berry, bullocks, ball-grabbers, beer-washer-downs, olive-pinchers, and lazy gif friends); in matters in-fighting flings, dukes, sharpies, rarebit Harry, carpets clung like stalactites in a sulphuric yellow or curried phases hellfire in an onomatopoetic ring-a-ding-ding moat around the capable but cable-tethered theatre babble and brooke thereafter/she-dung, lobster pale, ready fro/to the brim, you-got-it/I-got-nothing moment of health, heath scratch, and roster the losses in a fanatic lounge, rearing its young like fawns and glens and feature-length reminders: this ain't the ain't so moment.
But? Where was the abutment; forgo that wellness sending scent: where were we in the wheel of pyre-spinning and spools unspindly tire-wide and torts unconstituting, unclapped, uncle clap-bored, or worse, amiss here, a shanty wrought of oxides and silt, that daunting deign, auntie Reign. Things were probably a breast brethren easier before we blogged, logged, made pooping sounds, and enacted instance-defying fair weather seasonal faces. But then, in a moment of simulacrum, perhaps in the asp of breeding, you could still intone the codes that had all of us gentles breathing a symbol or thrice there-over. The detriment of newly whelp and cultural meme had a tree or two (umber beech or ash, most likely), and then the then-would fine a seal that on occasion, would gulp and reveal that symmetry, a cold shake shudder that felt the cap when the circle-8 sun would grin. Baby, it ain't your most sullen dive, but the flax and steering made for subtle touches on a side-by-side; loved that shade and well-worn wiping sound the pants would ache!
Ignoring your last advice, I have in fact, shamed my country. Or perhaps my county-- which is smaller and more manageable to shame.
Here's a list:
1. Town 2. County 3. State 4. Region 5. Country 6. Continent 7. Hemisphere
Here are ingredients to apply to the corresponding numbers:
1. Eggs 2. Hair 3. Leaves 4. A hill 5. Rusted pipes 6. An egret 7. Yarn or twine
Alternatively, the following list can combine with the aforementioned itinerary to essentially burn a few calories:
1. Pooping accident 2. Parachute sideways 3. Having a bee in the bonnet 4. Mowing a yawn 5. Breaking LP's in half 6. Yelling at a tree 7. Gagging sounds every third blink
The next items have little to do with anything except make liars out of us all:
1. Knotting pant legs together 2. Candles on top of a milkshake 3. Reading bibles or magazines 4. Writing every tenth second 5. Hesitating to ask 6. Playing dodgeball with onions 7. Eating birdseed with yogurt
Last, this list acts as another corresponding addendum. Don't misread!
1. Soaping up 2. Letting the oil sit 3. Lingering in amazement 4. Fighting with feathers 5. Tables in a river 6. Bending you over 7. Answering every fourth minute
Sent a dollar in. Made a mint back; told the others not to fallow (grass not greener, s'up). Made a list, even: measured in the line, kept the graphite in a steady, told the paupers not to shrug so much, did a heap of online wagers, wagonwheel pasties, good boobs that were always hidden, doogus loco-vores on high fumes low plenty in a shame sheen of votive candles and dandy birthing rites left to clover under a bested yield suppressant. Shit yeah, told the scold of seven sister message centers, shields held high against the ides of acrimony and bad 8 bit toil trees. He'd record-kept enough, but it was all childish, waspy, untough around the waist, and went to places where seconds were second to our impoper us/or/& use of possessives. Too many lisps, really; treaties tried too hardened and understoodly of whittle. And quite likely? No, you didn't not dislike it, it does little matter unlikeable sort to shy near towards, and with a weight unsightly and buoyant, so many shanties to cross over and shed, with finalmeants asks the guy in carrotnose: Signs? It males the femmes in makes of dress that cause cost to hayshower and clay mate the rest of the week in query of why-the-hell's-bane, why-the-whey-of-want, while's-the-may... oh cute and all: a festive buffer, maybe, but our percentage pouts had to fine or smote a lesson of shake-the-jake; a reliable source shored up, sorries n' all, but our lore wasn't even close to a postage stamp worthington. Remember, it was all about cause cutters.
1. Make mouth sounds that sound like words but aren't actual words. Record this with dictation software. 2. Bob dad 12 seven my Google stinky rat just think how good these new boards it'll bother boost mode instantly blank you bro give me a kebab and I'm stuck in fish I am going we you want I will most up to you to call you be easy but when you will update when you bringing home buying him stuff and I did three tree tree tree tree tree man you got Glenn Clemens didn't call me but I is you would surrender unit to vibrate and then I'm going great TV 3. Deliver this in the manner of a flattering speech to foreign dignitaries 4. (~<•>~) 5. (eyes used for tooth support)
Big ol' big ol'... Wash that tide up close; snug bug algae bloom and such. 1953. Maybe more, definite third step back (crevasse). No one or twosomes thricewide are safe and pink 'nymore. Now it's plastic shielded, colored white through and through, and as dumb as they come-- probably home schooled or so tuned in they can't unwind the peg, let alone drop D. The reak of oil and a bad toke shimmy up and chime too: the omen, the imminent, the soap, the scared. Everything will be ripped from the horn: foreigners and unwanteds sent packing or reagan shaved or forced into belabor cramps; made into merde, or pariah-tied into convincing them that we too are true blues, red apostles, and nancy comix. Still, it's unlikely. Once the censors censure and insure that the sign reads of fine fodder, the rest could pry an eye to other likelihoods: food, just maybe-- were if they smart enough to seize upon valuable protein potential-- but rest E-Z, shan't happen, lest they're told. The one good thing about the complicit ones is that they only do what they're told. But you an' me are gonna hafta blend in for a little while, or risk being bled when the torches & pitchforks come marching.
1. Attempt to make an omelet with eggs and leaves 2. Call it: "an attempt to bypass winter this year" 3. Or get political and mention global warming and the ramifications with ostriches (in which case, add sand as well)