Wednesday, June 30, 2010

a, as in Baader...

This annex is brought to you by the letter D.

(drones, domes, dirges, dirigibles, decisions, derisions, dervishes, decoys, decoupages, dubiosities, duplicities, distensions, doggerels, & duchamps)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

(eyes used for tooth support)

Yes, he'd decry. Eyes for the yes/no molar treetop. Put even sides of butter capsize on the regiment; whilst you troll, mind the good gubs. The ferrier trakes on a seven, got me? Two o 'er stoats and under readies, bellied upside, crosses on the ion or yawn sphere stadle frin. Crolliate. Chender. Skolptolila. Wencestenserve. Prayedell. Tooloose. Frensers. Actually the whole lot and loy, mina, streadwell, sheance, haytweed. Lower caps, my looking lad glassened rook! Say the tud, yes/no treaties/monts, mothcreatureanecdotereturndepostundranimaleftwingasprairiexpire. Too long, linger ready and treadwell again. The pops, larry on a king, well, it laid thick, gloaming widener in a hairtux seven again magii. An unwise tithe for bidding. You voted, you'd shared, he cry the deacer and slown qwerty vas deferentiratiating... holding the pause to suren clastic lenm oner just a tad, glad you were, glasp and held to a yarrow and an end tea suffrage lesp. Cold down. There. Cold down there's a rucket, a bucklet, a fadet-in-chuslim-shaws. Tuds and lemns, man! Lists of lemmoxes and you've forty mired in a seventeen held pot stoszit and reap osition larry-gain, and all the show-you's you'd played laider raise a maw and sligner bote, the polls came just o'er the under heady and well, heft the sed chender downslaidoneous. Ached to crisscriss, follofoll tis nigh, tell sapes and cyrprictall tree lengths on the thirdiary seven again, you'll see then, decrairious wren, how the fifteenines and goblools lead, a bledsome homerous fume, to roll riars welsome new year to abue.

Friday, June 25, 2010


(eyes used for tooth support)

Sole stitz

On a boat, ol' cappy cap found his delusional way. The. Crew. Was. Deluded. Too.
Not painters this time, nor actionists, but feasters. Delighters. Sungods and planetary ladies and floral pods and isle seekers, hearers, radiation keepers. Cappy did semaphore, which was very important, as well as a few drum solos and octopeople safety demonstratives. Longest day of the year.

(credit when due: thanks to impose magazine for being there, too)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Twisten chout

Gnarled finger grabs do the roof balance proper. One day I'll get sky volts or vacuum-tubed for being the idiot with his mobile, trying to capture the dorothea rapt hands and octopod inky black sworlings. Bah! No exit, they say. Only sorties and tunnels within. Still, a grating kernal for the digit realm. Good sky, big sky, eating pines and blowing the maple sideleaf up.

(eyes used for tooth support)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

File under "bra"

Ahhhh, Doris. I remember her well. She was the eternally chipper, terminally nauseating blond air head who sang "Que, Sera, Sera" like it was a TV jinglle for a Fiat (or, was it an Edict?). Picks are for taking!!! Although, I wouldn't recommend taking one to lunch no matter how much you want to prove you're a card carrying, liberal, egalitarian, equal opportunity racist pig. Picks are scary fuckers. They used to be axe wielding blue toads, I hear. Anyway, they scared the shit out of the Romans who, of course, were just old Italians in battle dresses. OOOOhhhhhh, wait a minute, now I understand. That"s where the picks got the idea to wear dresses in the first place. Real Picks wear wool plaid dresses. No wonder they were so irritable. It was the sheep. (too bad they didn't grow cotton...or double-knit polyester... no I mean the sheep, silly). If Anna had only been there, she'd a put a stop to that foolishness, straight away. She wasn't old enough at the time. She's over there now, trying to atone for her earlier failure. On a secret mission to wipe out plaid once and for all time. And good luck to her.
The picks once tried raising cotton. Hired a bunch of Egyptian mercenary cotton farmers terrorists, but when the picks tried to pay them in wool, they went back to Egypt in a huff (some kinda boat, maybe) and founded another soap opera. Got Richard Forsythe to play the lead. If I remember my ancient history correctly Linda Evans and Joan Collins were in it, too. Rumor about a big cat fight in the swimming pool. Probably just play-acting, though.

Ticker still ticking, bladder still galling. Little finger is still numb. Mostly righter with the world. Let's try for the tent next time you're in the city.

Don't let any doctors get behind you. They'll stab you in the back. Treacherous fuckers. They'll charge you for it, too.

Terra Hoot to you, too.

From: Crank
To: JShep
Sent: Sun, June 20, 2010 12:03:45 AM
Subject: Please file under "brazil"


Got yr call-- sorrow to have missed and done tent annex/exhange/portal with those greasy Anglo mits you call claws. Sorrows too, for the not feeling well. We'll do it right proper. No worries, lories, or dories. Or Doris.
(Who the hell is Doris?!)

Anyway. Time to heat up the day old ramen. Time to watch CSI alone again, too. Sigh.

Gary Indiana
Carpetbagger, Esq


(eyes used for tooth support)

Friday, June 18, 2010


Who owns your day?
Is it work?
Is it play?

(th' pennelville road to harpsie, evening of earl: a june wetdown ended in revelry and light; come night the mists arose like second or tertiary cummings-good-and-awl-a' naturallike)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

reciprocating pants recipe's endtimes practice

Pantsiprocity Recipentropy *

First, photocopy this instruction

Next, put on the pants

Try and take a photo or draw a picture of yourself wearing the pants

I'd love to see the picture! (email it to angsturgeon at yahoo dot com)

Next, cut off a piece of the pants and keep that piece

Mail the remaining pants (and this instruction) (maybe the photo as well) to someone you like a lot

The piece is over when there's simply no more pants to mail (or wear)


(a mail art piece, sent out today to a friend in a big manila envelope, featuring none other than, why yes: a pair of pants)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Read & perform the following attachment

(yest, no'd, choost for thrüs trump oared)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Recipe for the pith jist

1. Wallowst
2. Tossle
3. Reconnaissanced
4. Circumscribble
5. Shanked
6. Pairly
7. Mappingism
8. Bailable
9. Rendezvousievousvousvous
10. Caffeinationalizethehealthcarefacility
11. Emergentle
12. Chastizi
13. Ignorambulate
14. Precludditte
15. Ostensibleedthefuckeroutofit
16. Reachunderneathandgiveaquicktugortwo
17. Yearsold
18. Miffing
19. Pokesypie
20. Thitherisp

(eyes used for tooth support)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Coffee hike

1. Out early
2. Beating the band
3. No rest for the eerie
4. Hug an oak for me (would you?)

5. (eyes used for tooth support)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ice sewn flour jute show port

Another i...
Lids used in constant muck heaval. iFought the iFoe and iForged the iFlow; sail away like the lady said. Or was it in the sticks? Stems: the band, and Harriet: the blue. Together told in the way June makes an ash tree seem really reaally verdant. The way the storms speckle and speak and thrash; and the god's give uncles new sons and childbearing futures a name to clash and ossify and iDent with tenured lemur's ready sockmount to pay porridge over clasping spins and the song that we all went that way (pointing left) with. Over saddles, the morning thicket was insurmountable, speaking of which. iTended and iBrilled at the iTem on the bridge of prejudicial awning. Bad, sorry of you! Buttoned punst was his urly tern, Ernst had a phobe here or there, and the hummers man, drilled tinted and whiny teas into wrestled splendas; entreatmented with deph jams and saucinas, sabre wreathed joint heals, and the roy flippantcy of a made to order sham waah code d' odour. You got me? Eyes during the rain, mane!

(eyes used for tooth support)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Parte doo!

Another heckle from Mama Natty...
1. Mal contento indicativadoro
(it spins when the sky does)

2. But not to be nay sayeth (phone shot for another holeee fök!)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Saturday, June 5, 2010

That's what I'm talking about

We're not in Kansas anymore...
(second tornado watch/warning in three days)

(eyes used for tooth support)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

tide's comin' in...

Yesterday after the thunderstorm...

... and today, as depicted below, during midhike.
Soundtrack: thunder, rain, classic rock from clam-diggers' boombox, spring peepers, cardinals, ospreys, gulls
Eyeball: in fronta' one of earth's secret gems
Disposition; consult your global positioning therapist

(eyes used for tooth support)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Mr. T Party/ceremonial

Act-shun shot.
Id m theft able an' Crank caught in the midst of moist blue tea (last Tuesday) @ SPACE... photo by Ryan. Unsure what the bald dude in the suit was doing in this pic. Very suspect (could be a repubble-iccan).

general strafe and strike

Dear General N,

10-4 to the aforementioned matter which you have referenced in your previous missal. Or other words and numbers to the same effect and appropriate applicability. And while we're on the subject, could you please call NORAD and get the fuckin Air Force to stop strafing the house. The chipmunks are getting a little twitchier than usual and the refrigerator door keeps flying open. Broke my last fuckin bottle of cocktail sauce, too. Got nuthin to go with my vanilla pudding, now. And don't get me started on Crazy Nikita downstairs. She keeps screaming at her husband to do something or she's gonna kick him in the balls. He said to go right on ahead with any of her ball kicking plans; it don't bother him none because the last time he checked, his balls was so far up his ass already that the doctor thought he had two sets of tonsils. An unnatural freak of nature, as it were. Them two are a couple of pieces of work, I'll tell ya. Ain't no peace left worth disturbin since they moved in.

Damn the pellikanz and the pineapplzz,
Full speed ahead


(this is a rebuttal from my tax accountant, if you must know. Every good American should have letters like this arriving in their morning inbox.-Crank)