an apologist's jism rift

Dear Independer,

I am writing to inform you about something I witnessed last night. Some guy, dressed in a dirty office worker's shirt, wearing what appeared to be a giant starfish on his head, was claiming to be from the Tilburg Tourism Board. He accosted the nice people that were going to a concert by noisily hoisting up a large, and I might add, rather scientifically inaccurate brain for all to see, claiming (he) "was giving Tilburg something thoughtful". He then affixed the brain to a string pulley that ran from a lovely Art Deco lamp post to one of Tilburg's finest bronze statues, that of a lady in repose, with her hand pointing to the sky. The pulley system made it appear as though the bronze statue was pointing at the brain.

Now. Independer, I must ask you, as you are the voice of the streets and as such, carry a grave responsibility. Will you work with the proper authorities to have this man dealt with? While I understand that the Netherlands has fairly relaxed laws regarding public and artistic expression, I do not believe this sort of anarchism should be condoned, especially under the umbrella of what I was hoping to be a family friendly concert festival.

I thank you for your attention to this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Frank Virgin